In my recent survey, rejection was one of the issues most people expressed as being one of their biggest inner healing challenges. (If you would like to participate in the survey, you can do so here. This will help me know what kinds of content people are interested in.)
Did you know that the Creator of the Universe created you, personally? Psalms 139 tells us that God handmade each of us. Every bone. Our insides. Our outsides. And, while He was doing that, He was also creating our destinies – the good things that He created us to do. He created you, and He accepts you.
You may have been rejected by those around you. Rejection happens, I know that all too well. In large and small ways people we know and some that we don’t treat us badly. The problem comes when we equate the few with the many and with God.
Rejection has many faces.
Sometimes, we are rejected because of what we are not. We’re invalidated because we don’t have a significant other. We aren’t valued because we don’t have children. We’re discounted because we don’t have a degree, or the right education, or some possession or other.
Sometimes, we are rejected because we’re not enough. We don’t have enough money. We don’t have the right house or clothes or car.
And sometimes, we’re rejected because of what we are. We have gifts and talents people don’t understand. Our dreams and desires are different than those around us. We react to situations differently than others.
None of that is the Truth.
It may be true for a few – or for a lot. But that isn’t what God says.
One of the biggest things that the enemy does is that he tries to get us squashed into boxes we were never meant to be in. He doesn’t want us to fulfill our destinies or to operate in our gifts. Because when we do – we are the biggest threat to him and his plans to dominate and destroy the earth.
God loves diversity
God, however, is a God of diversity. No two snowflakes are alike, so why do we think He would make people all alike? He didn’t. That was never His plan or desire. Do we all have things in common? Absolutely. But we are not all the same. Equal, but different. And it is in our differences, in our unique abilities and gift mixes, that we are the most valuable.
In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about the gifts, and he equates believers with a body. No matter what you think about yours, or how well it’s working for you, it’s a pretty amazing thing! You have all of these different organs, bones, muscles, nerves, cells… A huge variety of things working together so you can live your life. That’s what God wanted for His church, the body of believers He desired to meet together, to work together, to love, laugh, and cry together.
But instead, we’ve listened to the enemy, and we’ve become enclaves of sameness. The United Church of Feet – where all the evangelists hang out. First Church of the Ears – where all the prophets lurk. The Church of Eyes – for the seers. And it’s no wonder the church is struggling. The feet can’t hear. The ears can’t see. And the eyes can’t move anywhere.
All that to say, that if you have been rejected because you aren’t like everyone else. That’s not your problem, it’s theirs. And, conformity has never been God’s goal for you, or for anyone. I invite you to seek Him for His truth about you.
Healing the pain of rejection
If you are in a good enough place to face the pain of the rejection you’ve experienced, you can work through the following on your own. If it’s too fresh, or too traumatic for you, I recommend that you work with a friend or trusted leader/minister. It isn’t that you don’t have the authority to deal with your warfare yourself, its that if working through it is too triggering for you, you can get stuck if you’re on your own. If you have someone with you, they can keep you moving forward through the pain and into the healing.
- First, I recommend that you release the emotions that the trauma from the rejection has caused you to store. You know how when you think of those events your body reacts? Maybe your heart races, you get sick to your stomach, you feel faint, or any number of other symptoms. That’s because our bodies can hold onto emotions. Everyone codes trauma differently because again, we’re made differently. Our personalities and experiences are not the same. So, I can’t give you a one size fits all plan, but I will give you a few common emotions and how to release them, as well as a more generalized method.
- Part of how we can release emotions is through what we call circuitry and intention in Splankna. Our bodies’ energetic systems operate much like the electrical circuits in your house. If you turn the switch on, the electricity flows to the light and it turns on. When the switch is off, the power can’t flow, and the light won’t turn on. The circuits in our bodies have been named meridians. God created us this way, it’s part of His design, but if you’re not comfortable with this, then skip to the next paragraph. If you’re ready, then sit in a chair and get comfortable. Place a hand on your heart and a hand on your left temple. Think about releasing – not feeling – releasing, any rejection that’s been stored in your system. If God gives you a memory, think about releasing the rejection related to that occasion, but it is NOT necessary to remember all the particulars. It is also generally not helpful to feel the emotions again and may be triggering, so don’t try. Some people picture all of the rejection moving up and out of their bodies, placing it and it’s mess at the feet of Jesus. But, you can just sit there for a while and think, “I’m releasing rejection.” And it will work. You may need to do this multiple times, as emotions are typically released in layers and related to situations. So, it’s a quicker fix than some, but still a process. Other emotions can be cleared with the same process. I’ll give you a few along with the body point to touch while clearing, continue to touch the left temple: Self-consciousness – stomach; Trouble letting go – lower large intestine; Shame – bladder; and anger – left side.
- You can also picture yourself packing up the rejection (or the other emotions) in a box and giving it to Jesus. Or giving it to Him in whatever form and using whatever imagery He gives you. Some people like to picture starting at their toes and releasing all of the rejection (or any other negative emotion) to Jesus and work their way up to the top of their head, releasing the negative emotions as they go.
- Once you’ve released the emotions, you can pray to break off the lies of the rejection. You can pray the following prayer, or one similar as the Spirit leads you. The key points are to reject the lies, gather up any entities along with them and cast it all to the cross. Place the blood of Jesus between all of that and you, and then, and this is key, ask Jesus, Father God, and/or Holy Spirit to fill you with the opposite.
“Father God, the enemy lied to me, and I listened. I repent for listening to his lies and for believing that I am rejected. That I’m not worthy of love and respect. That no one will love or respect or want me just because some people behaved badly. I reject these lies utterly. I gather them all up along with any and all entities involved with this in any way, revoking any rights they’ve gained to me, and I cast the whole mess to the cross of Jesus. I place the blood of Jesus between me and all of that. Father God, please fill me with your acceptance. Please help me to know and believe that You have accepted me. You love me. You enjoy me. You want to spend time with me. Please give me your acceptance for this rejection. Thank you for loving me and accepting me. Please help me to learn to walk in acceptance and love towards others as well. In Jesus’ Name, amen.”
Moving forward, it is key to not operate out of that rejected place. Depending on how you reacted to being rejected, this may take some time to relearn how to walk in love and acceptance.
If you find that you’re not making the progress that you’d like, and need some outside assistance, you can sign up for a one on one session with me here.
I also recommend flower essences as a help to overcome emotional and spiritual issues of all kinds, but only from Freedom-Flowers. Heart Healer is the perfect essence if you are dealing with heartbreak, abandonment, rejection, and co-dependency. You can get it here.
A small word of caution. I know some people have been rejected because they have behaved poorly or immaturely. If this is you, it is your responsibility to address your own behavior. Address your flaws (we all have them!) and grow in maturity and then in favor with others. No one is perfect at all times, so this is not to place guilt or condemnation on you. Identify areas that need improvement and work on improving them, that’s all I’m saying.