How to Read this Post
Feel free to skip around and choose the areas that you feel are the most important. Skim through the bold text for highlights.
The icons to the right here will indicate when you’ll find a crafted prayer or when it’s a great time to listen and write down or journal about what you’re doing. Feel free to skip to these if you’re familiar with the topic and want to get right to the work.
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Last time, we dealt with the generational issues pertaining to abnormal grief. If you haven’t read that post, please go back and do so as it will make further work easier for you. When you’re ready, continue on below. You can either work through these one at a time, or skip around and choose what you feel you need at this time.
It’s important to keep moving through each of these processes. Don’t spend lots of time trying to think of the people involved. Trust God to bring those to your attention that you need to deal with now. If there are others which come up later, you can return to these prayers and do that work then.
Father, I come before You this day because I need your help to access the freedom Jesus purchased for me on the Cross from abnormal grief. I take authority over myself, my space, and my will and I submit myself to You so I can agree with You completely where ever You lead me through this process. I remove all coverings over content and cut off all enemy access, placing everything into Jesus’ hands. I ask You, Lord Jesus, to gather up and bind all warfare that would seek to hinder me from getting free from abnormal grief or any other issue. Please send any back up I might need.
I repent of all enemy rights and agreements and suspend them and all areas of access he has to me. I place them into Jesus’ hands to keep during my work. Thank You, Father, for Your provision and protection.
I ask You, Holy Spirit, for any blessings I need as I do this work. I ask for an anointing of power and authority as I address this issue. Please give me clarity of thought and intention and a breakthrough in healing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Lack of forgiveness is one of the major blockages to healing of all kinds. If you are holding unforgiveness towards yourself or others, you are giving the enemy a clear field to torment you. You may have heard that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It doesn’t work. It also allows that person to live rent-free in your head. Not a good idea!
Forgiveness is a process, however, and the larger the thing being forgiven, often the longer the process is. However, the process begins with you being willing to forgive the person, God, or even yourself. Once you make the decision to forgive, when those ugly feelings towards them come back up, remind yourself that you’ve decided to forgive, and move on again.
Often, the person we struggle the most to forgive is ourself. Holding a grudge against yourself is really doing you no favors, however. Jesus forgives you freely, please use His example and forgive yourself freely as well.
I’m giving you two sample prayers, please fill in the blanks as appropriate for you and your situation.
The process of forgiveness often depends on the degree of hurt that someone caused. It can be a lengthy process, but it is well worth doing the work so that you are completely set free from whatever it was that they did to hurt you. The decision to forgive is a one time thing, the process of forgiving can take years. It does get easier the more you remind yourself of your decision to forgive, but there may be many layers to work through depending on what all effects their actions had in your life. Give yourself grace for this journey. It is well worth it!
Forgiveness of Others
I choose to forgive ____ for _____ (repeat as needed). I forgive all who have sinned against me and who have set me up to sin. I forgive all who have hurt me out of their own woundedness. I release them from all I feel they owe me, all judgements I’ve made against them, and all punishments I wanted them to experience. I replace any curses I’ve spoken against them with blessings. I release them into Your hands, Father, and pray they would find healing from their wounds.
Forgiveness of Yourself
I choose to forgive myself for ____ because You forgave me. I forgive myself for hurting myself and others out of my woundedness. I release myself from all accusations or judgements and all hatred and slander I made against myself. I forgive myself for making mistakes and falling short of God’s best for my life. I choose to accept myself even as You accept me, Jesus, and I ask You to help me learn to love myself as You love me. I trust that, even as I accept myself where I am, You are at work to bring me to greater levels of wholeness and are recreating me into Your image. I choose to give myself grace for this process of becoming the person You created me to be.
Ungodly Beliefs and Lies
God wants us to believe Him and His Word. Our beliefs shape who we are and what we believe about ourselves, others, and God. Ungodly beliefs are those which are contrary to the character of God and His Word. They are typically acquired from painful events you experience, from friends and family, and from your culture. They include such things as “No one will help me.” “I can’t trust anyone.” “There is no hope for me or my situation.” When we have ungodly beliefs, they shape our experiences and our behavior.
By replacing these ungodly beliefs with Godly beliefs, we can reshape our experiences and our behavior into alignment with what God says about us. Because ungodly beliefs become such a powerful force in our lives, shaping our experiences, they are sometimes difficult for us to spot on our own. You can spot them at times when you are reading the Bible and yo think that what you read is not for you. That cynicism is a pointer to an ungodly belief. You can also spend some time in listening prayer and ask God to share with you any untrue beliefs. If you are not successful or able to spot the lie, this is a good time to get help from a friend or trusted advisor.
Once you identify an ungodly belief or a lie about abnormal grief, work your way through the following prayer:
Father, I confess and repent for believing the lie that _____. I forgive any of those who contributed to my forming this belief, specifically ____ (list whoever comes to mind). I ask You, Father to forgive me for believing this lie and for all the effects this lie has had in my life. Thank You for your forgiveness. Because You forgave me, I can forgive myself for believing this lie and for all the effects it has had in my life. I renounce the belief that _____, and I revoke any and all agreements made with the enemy related to this belief. I choose to accept the truth that _____. (This is generally the opposite of the lie, but spend some time and allow the Lord to speak the truth He wants you to believe.)
Write out the Godly belief and read it aloud several times a day. Also search the Bible for verses reinforcing this new belief and personalize them. Write them out and read them aloud as well. Continue to do this until the truth saturates your being and shifts your behavior and experiences.
A word curse is something negative said to you, or about you which you believe and take internally and which shapes your beliefs about yourself, your abilities, or your circumstances. Typically these also contribute to you failing in some way. You can also speak them about yourself. Some common ones related to abnormal grief include:
- It’s disloyal to ___ to heal from this grief.
- I’ll never be able to get over losing ___.
- I’ll never be whole again.
Spend some time in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any curses active and impacting you. Once you identify any word curses you have heard or said to yourself, you can break them off with the following prayer.
Father, I forgive ____ (this maybe yourself), for cursing me by saying _____. (Repeat this for each of the people and curses you’ve written down, or the Holy Spirit reveals to you as you pray.) I repent for believing this curse and allowing them to shape my beliefs about myself, other people, my circumstances, and You. I ask for Your forgiveness, and I receive Your forgiveness. Thank you. I revoke and break any and all rights these curses had in my life and in my relationships and circumstances. I gather them up and cast them to the cross of Jesus along with any entities involved in any way. I place the blood of Jesus between all of that and me. I ask You, Jesus, to help me reverse and correct all the effects of these curses in my life, and help me to appropriate the blessings You have for me in place of these curses. Thank you.
There are godly and healthy soul ties as well as ungodly soul ties. While sex is one way a soul tie forms, it is not the only way. We find godly soul ties in close, healthy relationships within healthy boundaries, those are good and we want to leave them alone, or strengthen. Ungodly soul ties happen when there is an inappropriate connection made between two people. For example, a controlling or manipulative relationship that attempts to take away the free will of the other person. Not only does the ungodly soul tie give the other person more access to you than they should, they also seem to give the enemy greater access to you as well.
This is one of those times where I recommend praying to break any with anyone who comes to mind. If there are no soul ties with them, then nothing happens, but if there are, then it’s best to break them. It is possible to have both godly and ungodly soul ties with the same person, especially your spouse or close family. This is why we specify we are breaking the ungodly soul ties.
You can pray and ask God for a list before you pray, or just mention each as you pray. There’s no need to try to think of anyone and everyone. Just go with whom comes to mind right away and then move on. If there are others God brings up later, you can come back and pray again.
Father, I confess and repent of any ungodly soul ties I have with ___. I forgive ___ for their part in creating these soul ties. (Repeat for each person who comes to mind.) I take back what they have that is rightfully mine, and I send back to them what I have that is rightfully theirs washed in the Blood of Jesus and sent with a message of salvation, healing, and a blessing. I break off these soul ties. I seal up the connection point of these soul ties with the blood of Jesus. I revoke any rights the enemy has gained to me through these soul ties and I gather up any and all entities involved in any way and cast them to the cross of Jesus. I place the blood of Jesus between all of that and me.
Father, I ask you to set Your seal upon the work I have and will be doing regarding forgiveness, ungodly beliefs, word curses, and soul ties. I believe You are faithful to continue this work and bring me to greater and greater realms of healing and wholeness. I cancel any and all curses, devices, or assignments of the enemy and break off any retaliation in the Name of Jesus. I seal all doors and windows in the spirit with Jesus’ blood and thank You and praise You for Your protection. Please minister to me as my system adjusts to this new level of healing and wholeness and comes into alignment with Your design.
Next post, I’ll go over some next steps for freedom from abnormal grief by dealing with emotional and spiritual wounds and some final clean-up of any of the enemy that is lingering.