DIY Healing for Guilt: A Complete Guide to Finding Freedom

This comprehensive DIY healing guide will walk you through the process of finding freedom from guilt. You'll learn to identify the roots and unusual presentations of guilt, work through forgiveness and ungodly beliefs, address emotional and spiritual wounds, and discover practical steps for walking out lasting healing. This guide is designed to be used alongside prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Understanding Guilt: Description, Roots, and Presentations

Description

Guilt is the knowledge that we’ve done something wrong. 

Sometimes we are truly guilty. In that case, I bring good news! You can repent and begin again, fresh and clean!

But often, we experience feelings of guilt over things that we’ve already repented of. We should no longer carry any guilt here. In other cases, we feel guilt over things that were never our fault to begin with. This false guilt is what I want you to address in this book. 

Possible Roots

The root of true guilt is wrongdoing on our part. 

Often, the root of false guilt is wrongdoing on the part of someone else. Often abusers blame their victims for the abuser’s poor behavior and choices. You might’ve thought something like this: “If only I hadn’t _____, then they wouldn’t have _____.” That’s false guilt. In the case of peers—other children when we’re a child or adults when we’re an adult—you are not responsible for other people’s behavior, especially violence directed at you or others and then being blamed for that violence. 

In the same way, if someone uses manipulation and control against you, that’s not on you, that’s on them. Let’s get free of that false guilt!

Generational Issues

As you may be aware, the sins of our ancestors can have a very negative impact on our lives. First, their sin gives the enemy access to us, and second, it becomes the pattern of how life happens within our family so we may not know there is another option for behavior, or realize how unhealthy our family patterns are. We all have generational issues and generational patterns which are less than ideal, so it isn’t just you. 

Before I go any further, I want to emphasize that you are not responsible for your ancestor’s sin. You are only responsible for your own sins. What the generational piece does is to add a pressure or weight which increases the likelihood you may sin in a particular area. We have a choice wether or not we enter into the sin, but even if we don’t, the generational piece seems to make the fight against sin more difficult than it needs to be. 

I discuss generational work more completely here and here, so if this is all new to you, you might want to stop and review that post. I also have a class which goes into more depth about specific types of generational issues and how to break them. You can find it here.

To clear the enemy’s access to us because of generational issues, we do what we call identificational repentance. This is where you repent on behalf of a larger groupyou‘re part of, in this case your family. Again, you are not saying you are guilty of those sins, unless you are, but you are standing in the gap for your family to remove the access the enemy has on you and your bloodline.

The following is a sample prayer to walk through step by step, but this is also the perfect time to practice listening prayer. Only the Holy Spirit knows the full effects of this generational piece on your life, so listen carefully to His voice as you walk through this process and pray additional items as He leads you. You might want to read through the prayer first and then make a note of anything the Holy Spirit wants you to add before you begin, or stop and pray each as you go.

Identificational repentance can be done on behalf of any group that you are a part of or identify with. It's not only your family. In all cases, it's not that you're saying you personally have participated in whatever it is you're repenting on behalf of, but because you are a part of the larger group, you can stand in the gap for the group at large. You can think in terms of culture, race, denomination, role in society, gender, position, occupation, etc. For example, I've done identificational repentance for clients on behalf of church leadership even though I wasn't a part of the church the client was hurt by, but because I have held positions of leadership within the church. It's a powerful tool that you can use to set others free as well as yourself.

Forgiveness, Ungodly Beliefs, Word Curses, and Soul Ties

Forgiveness

Lack of forgiveness is one of the major blockages to healing of all kinds. If you are holding unforgiveness towards yourself or others, you are giving the enemy a clear field to torment you. You may have heard that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It doesn’t work. It also allows that person to live rent-free in your head. Not a good idea! 

Forgiveness is a process, however, and the larger the thing being forgiven, often the longer the process is. However, the process begins with you being willing to forgive the person, God, or even yourself. Once you make the decision to forgive, when those ugly feelings towards them come back up, remind yourself that you’ve decided to forgive, and move on again.

Often, the person we struggle the most to forgive is ourself. Holding a grudge against yourself is really doing you no favors, however. Jesus forgives you freely, please use His example and forgive yourself freely as well. 

I’m giving you two sample prayers, please fill in the blanks as appropriate for you and your situation.

The process of forgiveness often depends on the degree of hurt that someone caused. It can be a lengthy process, but it is well worth doing the work so that you are completely set free from whatever it was that they did to hurt you. The decision to forgive is a one time thing, the process of forgiving can take years. It does get easier the more you remind yourself of your decision to forgive, but there may be many layers to work through depending on what all effects their actions had in your life. Give yourself grace for this journey. It is well worth it!

Ungodly Beliefs and Lies

God wants us to believe Him and His Word. Our beliefs shape who we are and what we believe about ourselves, others, and God. Ungodly beliefs are those which are contrary to the character of God and His Word. They are typically acquired from painful events you experience, from friends and family, and from your culture. They include such things as “No one will help me.” “I can’t trust anyone.” “There is no hope for me or my situation.” When we have ungodly beliefs, they shape our experiences and our behavior.

By replacing these ungodly beliefs with Godly beliefs, we can reshape our experiences and our behavior into alignment with what God says about us. Because ungodly beliefs become such a powerful force in our lives, shaping our experiences, they are sometimes difficult for us to spot on our own. You can spot them at times when you are reading the Bible and yo think that what you read is not for you. That cynicism is a pointer to an ungodly belief. You can also spend some time in listening prayer and ask God to share with you any untrue beliefs. If you are not successful or able to spot the lie, this is a good time to get help from a friend or trusted advisor.

Word Curses

A word curse is something negative said to you, or about you which you believe and take internally and which shapes your beliefs about yourself, your abilities, or your circumstances. Typically these also contribute to you failing in some way. You can also speak them about yourself. Some common ones related to false guilt include:

• I’ll never be able to _______ because of this thing in my past.
• I’m the cause of so many bad things that _______ has done.
• I will never be free of this guilt and shame.

Spend some time in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal to you any curses active and impacting you. Once you identify any word curses you have heard or said to yourself, you can break them off with the following prayer.

Soul Ties

There are godly and healthy soul ties as well as ungodly soul ties. While sex is one way a soul tie forms, it is not the only way. We find godly soul ties in close, healthy relationships within healthy boundaries, those are good and we want to leave them alone, or strengthen. Ungodly soul ties happen when there is an inappropriate connection made between two people. For example, a controlling or manipulative relationship that attempts to take away the free will of the other person. Not only does the ungodly soul tie give the other person more access to you than they should, they also seem to give the enemy greater access to you as well. 

This is one of those times where I recommend praying to break any with anyone who comes to mind. If there are no soul ties with them, then nothing happens, but if there are, then it’s best to break them. It is possible to have both godly and ungodly soul ties with the same person, especially your spouse or close family. This is why we specify we are breaking the ungodly soul ties. 

You can pray and ask God for a list before you pray, or just mention each as you pray. There’s no need to try to think of anyone and everyone. Just go with whom comes to mind right away and then move on. If there are others God brings up later, you can come back and pray again.

Emotional Wounds, Demonic Oppression, and Anger at God

So far, we’ve dealt with the generational issues, forgiveness, ungodly beliefs, and soul ties pertaining to false guilt. If you haven’t read those posts, please go back and do so as it will make further work easier for you. When you’re ready, continue on below. You can either work through these one at a time, or skip around and choose what you feel you need at this time.

It’s important to keep moving through each of these processes. Don’t spend lots of time trying to think of the people and situations involved. Trust God to bring those to your attention you need to deal with now. If there are others that come up later, you can return to these prayers and do that work at that time. 

Emotional Wounds

One of the major access points the enemy has over each of is through unhealed, or ineffectively healed, emotional wounds. Something has hurt us many times throughout our lives, it’s how we handle these hurts that can become a problem. Sometimes, these hurts shape our beliefs about ourselves and others inaccurately. Maybe they disregarded our feelings, or no one knew how to help us work through what we thought, felt, or experienced. There’s probably no end to the various ways people can hurt. But do we allow God to help us work through those hurts, or do we stuff them in hopes that they will go away?

Before we go too much further on, I want to say that I believe most people do the best they can with what they know. Both we who hurt, and the ones who are doing the hurting. Most people act in hurtful ways because of their own woundings. Most people are doing the best they know how given what they’ve been through. And, this is one of the most important reasons, in my opinion, for getting healed - so the pattern of hurtfulness ends with us. We get healed and we learn how to treat others better, and the world becomes a better place.

This may be an area where you need to have the assistance of someone else to walk with you through this process. Partly, to keep moving through the process and not get stuck in the hurt. This depends on how healed you are, how fresh or deep the wound is, how much the issue is currently being triggered, etc. If you get stuck, this is a perfect time to phone a friend, or seek out a minister who can help you move through this process. There is no shame in getting help. The point is to get healed!

I also recommend you take one memory or hurt at a time and go through the process. If more than one occasion of the same hurt comes to mind, you can often deal with them as a group. Just set your intention to include each time that hurt occurred in your life. If you get different ones, make a note of the others, and pick one to get started with. You can keep going through your list until they are all done, although, you may need to take some time for your system to adjust after each of them. Again, this depends on how the hurts affected you.

The following is a basic template I use during my sessions with clients as well as myself. It is a guide, not a super rigid framework. The order is generally the best, although, sometimes you need to go back to an earlier point and then move forward.

Demonic Oppression

I’ve often heard the demonic described as rats on garbage. Part of what we’ve been doing in all of these posts and sections until now, is to get rid of the “garbage” of false guilt so the rats have nothing left to attach to or feed on. Little by little, we’ve eliminated the contact points or rights we’ve given the enemy. Once we heal, break, and close off their rights, access, and contact points, it’s pretty easy to kick them off.

We name the demonic by their function, primarily. So, since we’ve been dealing with false guilt, we will get rid of the demons of false guilt as well as any under their authority or involved in any way. Sometimes, you can just toss the whole package, and sometimes they need to be named one by one. Just repeat the prayer as often as you need to until you’ve gotten rid of all of them. If you think of others later, just pray through the prayer again.

You’ll notice it’s not a complicated prayer. It’s simple but powerful. Through Christ, we have authority over the enemy especially when all their rights are gone. This is a legal proceeding, not a power play so volume is not necessary. The enemy is not hearing impaired and he knows better than we the authority we carry. This is why he often relies on hiddenness, darkness, and intimidation. But, we’ve seen his plan and foiled his plots, so let’s get rid of him!

Anger at God

You may find you are holding some anger, disappointment, or bitterness at God. Go back through these posts and work through this anger as it pertains to false guilt. Don’t try to hide it, He knows, and He longs to have that block or hinderance removed from between you. This can be a tricky thing to spot, so if you’re stuck, it’s a great time to reach out to a trusted friend or minister for some help.

Walking Out Your Healing

So far, we’ve dealt with the generational issues, forgiveness, ungodly beliefs, soul ties, emotional wounds, demonic oppression, and anger at God pertaining to false guilt. If you haven’t read those posts, please go back and do so. Those are what set you free. This post is about moving forward now that you’ve received that freedom. When you’re ready, continue on below. You can either work through these one at a time, or skip around and choose what you feel you need at this time.

Shameless book plug: I took the following from my book A Guide to Freedom. If you want more details and helpful ways to track your progress, etc., check it out. 

Give Yourself Grace

I cannot encourage you enough to give yourself grace and mercy to not get it all right. Don’t try to do everything at once, just begin somewhere and keep going. If you trip and fall, repent, and move on. One mistake is not a disaster. An entire series of mistakes need not be a disaster if you get up again and keep moving forward. Part of what you are overcoming in walking out your healing is relearning how to do life from a position of freedom and wholeness. You have habits to overcome. Often, when we think we’ve “lost” our freedom, it’s simply that we’ve fallen back into old habits. Repent, get back up, and continue on. You’ll learn new habits, it won’t always be this hard.

Saturate Your Atmosphere

There seems to be something more tangible that happens when we saturate our atmospheres with worship music. Worship resonates at a frequency that seems to transfer itself into the structure and atmosphere of the place and it lingers on long past the time that the last note died away. I’ve been to churches and cathedrals where God was worshipped for hundreds of years. There’s something unique in the atmosphere of many of them. I don’t think it has to be a certain style or kind of music. I do think it matters if the artists singing and playing are doing so from the right place and with the right Spirit. That’s why I’ve specified worship music here. Not all Christian music is worship although I enjoy most all of it if I’m just listening. But, if I want to shift my atmosphere, I pay more attention to which music I sense the Spirit in the most.

Read the Word

The Bible is also the best place I know to learn about how God has worked with and through people since the beginning. There is much that we can learn about who God is and what he is like by reading his Word. This is especially true if you read several translations and paraphrases. I’m not saying you have to sit down and study the Bible for hours a day. That’s not a realistic goal for most of us. You can sign up for KLOVE radio’s verse of the day to go to your email. I’ve been receiving KLOVE’s emails for 15 years or so now, so they are who come to mind for me. I recently started getting emails with a Proverb or chapter a day from www.bibleplan.org. They have quite a few different ones to choose from. I enjoy the convenience of having it come to my inbox each morning, especially when traveling.

Personalize Scripture

As I’m reading the Bible, sometimes, a verse jumps out at me and seems to apply to what I’m going through, or maybe it’s something that I desire to see manifest in my life. Not only do I highlight them, but I will also personalize them. This helps me to absorb the truths much more effectively.

I take 3x5 cards and write out the verse or verses so they pertain directly to me, putting my name in them as much as it works. I read them aloud to myself as often as needed. In some of the darkest times, I’ve had so many that I bought a photo album to put them in so I could more easily flip through.

For example, Psalm 100:4 reads: Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

There are at least 2 ways to personalize this. First, I can say: I will enter his gates with thanksgiving. I will go into his courts with praise. I will give thanks to him and I will praise his name.

Or: Alice will enter his gates with thanksgiving. Alice will go into his courts with praise. Alice will give thanks to him and Alice will praise his name.I find that using the second is more effective.

Two-way Journaling

Taking time to listen to the Spirit is an excellent way to gain more freedom. Two-way journaling is a great way to refine your listening. I learned this technique by watching Dr. Mark Virkler’s 4 Keys to Hearing God’s Voice DVDs. Basically, you make sure your heart is right, and ask God a question. “What do you think of me?” or “How do you see me?” or something along those lines is a great way to start. Quiet yourself and listen. Write whatever you hear. Don’t analyze it, just write. You can proofread later if you want to. Spiritual things register on the right side of your brain. Analyzation and proofreading are more left brain activities. For those of us who spend a lot of time on the left, switching to the right takes practice, so stay over there as long as you can when you get there! If this is something new to you, it is Dr. Virkler’s recommendation to you run your journalling by a few advisors who know and love you and whom you know to hear from God for themselves. And certainly to do so if you are making a major decision of any kind. This is wise advice. In the beginning, you want them to tell you if they think what you’ve heard is the voice of the Spirit.

Take Thoughts Captive

There are normally 3 sources of thoughts in our heads. They all can sound like us, so we need to learn to discern the source of each. Once we understand whose voice we’re hearing, what does it mean to take a thought captive? It means, that we do not let it linger in our minds. Once we recognize a thought as coming from the enemy, I find it helpful to just say “No! Nope! Nada!” Out loud if need be. I may follow that with a statement that I bind up that thought and cast it to the cross. That thought is not mine or God’s, and I will not receive it. I then focus on the appropriate opposite thought which applies. If I can use one of my personalized scriptures, this seems to add strength and power to help me focus on the truth and create positive thoughts.

Forgive Quickly and Often

Keep on forgiving, as I mentioned earlier in these posts, it’s a process, so we may need to remind ourselves that we’ve chosen to forgive. We may also need to forgive those who hurt us as we move forward.

Exercise Your Spiritual Giftings

Seek to discover and to use the gifts that God has given you, whatever they might be. In this way, you step into your destiny and do the good things He planned for you to do.

Practice Thankfulness

Gratitude is a powerful force. Use it - make a list of what you have to be thankful for and add to it often. See if you can find a new something to be thankful for everyday.

Share your Testimony

Tell the world of the good things that God has done for you, in overcoming false guilt. Not only does this help you focus on the great things He’s done, but you give others courage to seek their own healing.

Resist the Enemy

He’s had you under his control through false guilt for a while. Whether long or short, he will want you back. That doesn’t mean you weren’t healed and set free, it’s just what he does. His job description is to kill, steal, and destroy, and your healing and freedom is at the top of that list! When you spot his attack, recognize it for the lie it is, take up your armor, and stand in the truth and fight! 

Frequently Asked Questions

Additional Resources

Click on the image to see more.

Freedom Flowers Flower Essences

Flower essences are energetic remedies made by capturing the vibrational imprint of a flower in water. They're designed to help shift emotional and mental patterns by interacting with the body's energetic field. I've used and recommend Freedom Flowers essences for years, and have found them to be highly effective.